Getting back

Hiking on Isla Graciosa

Lanzarote

Zomervakantie, deel 1

Work

Let's put it this way. Jobs are easy. They're just about coming to work every day and carrying out everything you need to do. Right? So that's what we did. This whole year long, every day, we showed up and tried to do the right thing. Not fun. Not social. Not safe or loving or emotional or any word that doesn't belong in an office. On its bookshelves anyway. The only goal was to get it right. That's all. Except that it was not easy. And apparently very hard to understand. It was all just a job. Not us. Look at us.

So what did I learn this year (in my job, that is)?

Too much closeness can come back at you.
Not everyone can handle friendship and work.
This job is real, and mine, and not to be walked away from just like that.
(But it is, in the end, just a job.)
You can't change the image of yourself in other people's minds.
Being the leader attracts people who want to see you fall.
People who only want to see you fall exist.
Responsibility can get very, very ugly.
To believe in yourself is a prerequisite, not an asset.
Leading means to accept to be the bad guy sometimes.
Means understanding when you're never understood.
Means being asked to forgive endlessly, but never being forgiven.

But this as well:

A good team can make you fly, a poor team can stop you in your tracks.
If you aren't brave enough to face the people you keep attacking, you will never be brave enough to face yourself.
What didn't kill us, DID make us stronger.
When we get knocked down, we DO get up again.
WE will be the winners.We WILL go on.
Good workers - and I mean real, good workers - are hard to find, but priceless when you find them.
And I found at least two in this room with me.
They take my breath away.
And I smile.

In the end, everything that needed to be said, was written on a balloon that floated away into the night. It wasn't much. After all, it was just for us. Not for all of you. It didn't say how sad we were to see you go, our friend. It didn't say how angry we were at your backstabbing, our spy. It didn't say how grateful we were for your presence, our stayer. It didn't say how we love you, our girl. It didn't say how we didn't sleep at night either. It didn't say how heavy it was carrying all of this on our backs. It didn't say how we cried, how we fought, how we shouted and kicked the walls. It didn't say how much patience it took, or perserverance, or frustration, or strength. It didn't say how many profits we made, how many kids passed, how efficient we were. It didn't say how the skies are about to split wide open for us, after tomorrow, after you have left and we can turn the page. It didn't say how my eyes will tear up at the sight of the first rays of sunshine.

It only said: Us. Tomorrow. Go.