Kids

Leftover pictures

Just another day

Photography assignment at the cemetary. Someone tells me it's my age that's making me uncomfortable. Walking around with my camera, looking for images. Of course, transience. Might as well dig up one of the bodies for transience. There's an end to everything. Thank God.

My dad's lying around here somewhere.

I can't find his grave. Bad daughter. Everybody has a statue of a boy playing with marbles these days, so that's a pretty shitty landmark. I find it eventually. People walk by with carts of plants and compost. They make things grow on the graves of the people they love. I'm here with my Nikon. So I take a picture.

Letting go is not what hurts. It's the holding on. I'm so tired of both.

If someone can tell me why everything keeps moving, I might lose the constant urge to stand absolutely still and scream my lungs out.

On and on and on

Bravely I look further than I see,
Knowing things I know I cannot be, not know
I'm so aware of where I am, but I don't know where that is
And there's something right in front of me and I

Touch the fingers of my hand
And I wonder if it's me
Holding on and on to theories of prosperity
Someone who can promise me
I believe in me

Tomorrow I was nothing, yesterday I'll be
Time has fooled me into thinking it's a part of me
And nothing in this room but empty space
No me, no world, no mind, no face

Touch the fingers of my hand and tell me if it's me
Holding on and on to Love, what else is real
A religion that appeals to me, oh
I believe in me

Can you turn me off for just a second, please
Turn me into something faceless, weightless, mindless, homeless
Vacuum state of peace

On and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me
On and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me

Wait for me, I'm nothing on my own
I'm willing to go on, but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything, but nothing seems for real and
As long as you're in front of me then I'll

Watch the fingers of our hands
And I'm grateful that it's me
Holding on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
I believe in me

I'm willing to go on, but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything

(K's Choice, I believe)

Voor Eefke2 :)

Voor Eefke: Pink Party!

Lost

Er is zoveel te doen dat nergens toe leidt, dat ik niet meer weet of ik wel echt verdwaald ben.

Bottom line

Amerika, een maand later.De gemoederen bedaard, helemaal afgekickt van grote bekers koffie en weer voor het eerst uitgescholden op straat, kan ik rustig kijken naar twee landen die mijn hart gestolen hebben.

Amerika is passie. Ervoor gaan, vechten voor je dromen, 100% in alles wat je doet. Nederland is gezond verstand. Beide benen op de grond, denken en dan pas doen. Amerika is je vrije zaterdag opgeven en een helm opzetten als Extreme Home Makeover een huis gaat bouwen bij jou in de straat voor een ongefortuneerde weduwe met zestien kinderen. Nederland is weigeren te kijken naar Talpa, omdat de beste presentatoren door John de Mol met veel geld weggekocht zijn.

Amerika is beleefdheid en goed fatsoen. Niet voordringen in een lange rij, je broodje gratis krijgen als je langer dan 20 minuten hebt zitten wachten, je fiets in Brooklyn kunnen parkeren zonder extra slot. Nederland is anoniem kunnen winkelen, chagrijnig mogen zijn als je dat toevallig bent. Amerika is uitgebreid verwelkomd en vervolgens niet met rust gelaten worden door de serveerster die een behoorlijk uurloon aan jou te danken zal moeten hebben. Nederland is dubbel parkeren op een eenbaansweg met DJ Tiesto op maximaal volume om 12 uur 's nachts.

Nederland is sociaal op macroniveau. Weten dat je geholpen wordt als je ziek bent. Zonder zorgen kunnen stoppen met werken op je 65e. Amerika is sociaal op microniveau. De buurvrouw die er altijd voor je is. Een kind in je gezin opnemen als die nergens anders terecht kan. Nederland is in elkaar geslagen worden in een drukke straat en niemand die het ziet. Amerika is je kind pijn zien lijden, omdat je verzekering een excuus heeft gevonden je buiten te dekking te plaatsen.

Nederland is klein en kijkt naar buiten. Nieuwsgierig op avontuur buiten het eigen bereik. Amerika is groot en kijkt naar binnen. Welkom zijn als je mee wilt doen, waar je ook vandaan komt. Nederland is het dichthouden van de grenzen ook al slaat de vergrijzing toe. Amerika is niet weten dat Bangladesh een land is.

Waarom slechts naar een kant kijken?

The US, one month later.

Having come home and calmed down, kicked the habit of tall latte's, and having been shouted at on the street again for the first time, it is time to take a good look at the two countries that stole my heart this past summer.

America is passion. To go for it, to fight for your dreams, to give 100% in everything you do. Holland is common sense. Both feet firmly on the ground. To think before you act. America is giving up your free Saturday to put on a helmet when Extreme Home Makeover starts building a house in your street for an unfortunate widow with sixteen kids. Holland is refusing to watch tv channel Talpa, because its owner bought the anchormen with lots of money from public television.

America is being polite and having good manners. Not to jump a long queue, getting your sandwich for free after waiting for longer than 20 minutes, parking your bike in Brooklyn without an extra lock. Holland is being able to shop anonymously, being able to be in a bad mood when you happen to be moody. America is getting an elaborate welcome and frequent harassment from a waitress who is dependent on you for getting a reasonable paycheck. Holland is to double-park in a one-way street with DJ Tiesto on full volume at midnight.

Holland is social on a macro-level. Knowing you'll get help when you become sick. Being able to stop working at 65. America is social on a micro-level. The neighbour who's always there for you. Include a child in your family, because he has nowhere else to go. Holland is getting beat up in a crowded street and nobody who notices. America is watching your child suffer, because your ensurance company has found an excuse not to cover you.

Holland is small and looks outside. Being curious enough to set out for adventure outside of its own reach. America is big and looks inside. Being welcome if you want to join in, no matter where you're from. Holland is closing the borders even though the population is ageing. America is not knowing that Bangladesh is a country.

Why look at just one side?

My playlist

(stole this idea from another website)

Driving
In my time of dying – Frazey Ford
Fadeaway – BoDeans

Being 13
I am a rock – Simon and Garfunkel

Student life
Walking on sunshine – Katrina & the Waves
June afternoon – Roxette

2003
Mad World – Gary Jules

Mila† (my dog)
Sun’s work undone – the Hackensaw Boys
Brown eyed girl – Van Morrison

Funeral song
Time of your life – Green Day

1st love
I’ll remember – Madonna
Head over feet - Alanis Morissette

Ghana
Quiet little place – K’s Choice
Life – Des’ree

Coming out
Love’s divine - Seal

Insomnia
Until I’m fine – K’s Choice
Belgian rain – Gert Bettens
Rise - Azure Ray
Virgin state of mind – K’s Choice

My company
This will be – Natalie Cole
L’arena – Ennio Morricone

Saying goodbye ‘06
Don’t speak – No Doubt

January
Fire in my head – the Nits

Saratoga Springs
Holiday in Spain – Blöf ft. Counting Crows

David
Just another day - Sarah Bettens

Saratoga, the part I left out
In the sun – Coldplay ft. Michael Stipe

Loud, loud, loud
Galvanize – Chemical Brothers
Pump it – Black eyed peas
Bouncing off the walls – Sugarcult

Perfect love song
Show me how it’s done – Gert Bettens

2007, so far
Taking the long way around – Dixie Chicks
Song beneath the song – Maria Taylor
Mad about you - Hooverphonic

Leftover pictures